capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
