Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So vagazzling was a success
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
