using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize