yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
