I got chris browned last night
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
