Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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