but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Every concussion has its silver lining
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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