at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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