One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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