How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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