yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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