Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
