He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
