just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
