Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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