it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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