drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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