Can i not drive my cunt home
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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