the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
