A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
