I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
