Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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