just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
