he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
