white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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