I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
