That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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