Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I can text with my tongue
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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