i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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