your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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