the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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