I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
