It's Friday. Sex?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
