so that wasnt chicken after all
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
