She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
