I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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