Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
