just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
