this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
