Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
zippers are such a cool invention
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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