so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
