Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I wish i was in the wii world.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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