I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
