Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
