I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
