I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
