I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The Olympian is in my bed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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