no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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