I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
