I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
