You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
