I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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