I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize