btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
