He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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