Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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