wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
