So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
