He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
