I must be too annoying 4 u.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
