Umm I'm too high to move.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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