Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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