If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
