I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
