When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
