do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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