It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
