so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
